I often think of the fact that when children first begin to refer to themselves, they do so in the objective case. They use “me” where they later will use “I.”
This is one of those seemingly small realities which hardly seem to merit fifty years of thought, but the implications of this little fact are so fundamental, so numerous, that it would completely overturn present society if it were acknowledged.
It tells us that selfhood, self-imagery, dignity, is built, developed - not given at birth - by taking the viewpoint of the other.
This is why abandonment is so devastating to a child.
This is why “I don’t love you any more” is the most fundamental hurt that a child can think of to use, as well as to receive.
It’s why I just die inside whenever I see adults humiliating a child in public places.
It’s why the especially Anglo habit of input-output education produces such monsters.
